You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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