if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
