before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
