Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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