he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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