**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
