i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
