I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm at about main and main street
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
