I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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