im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
