Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Come see our sink grown plant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
