ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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