I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
