So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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