Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
