Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
