is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
