I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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