I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
