mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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