She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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