he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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