Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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