Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
