it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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