doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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