we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
