im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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