Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
