Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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