I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
