I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
