I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just cut my nipple shaving
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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