Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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