what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
