Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
