Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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