My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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