Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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