My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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