Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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