I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
