Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
