I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
