Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
