he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
