Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
