I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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