like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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