so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
