piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
