ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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