Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
