I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
