Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
